Simian Substitute Sites Of The Month - 2003 Archive

January 2003 - Silverback Adventure (dead link, partial archive available)
Dead at the time of writing, anyway, due to excessive bandwidth usage. Which is a shame, because it was all for a good cause: my pal Simon went on a sponsored trip to Uganda to raise money for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund, and was using the site to raise sponsorship money. The trip was a great success, with £15,000 raised and some gorilla-spotting thrown in as a bonus. Never mind, at least you can still see his holiday snaps.

February 2003 - Monkey Lander
All computer games work better with the addition of monkeys: and so it is with this variation on the classic Moon Lander game. Getting the monkey to land exactly on that launch pad is a tricky bugger, but well worth the effort.

March 2003 - We Like The Moon by The Spongmonkeys
A very silly song from rathergood.com and the warped imagination of web animator Joel Veitch. But several months after this was a Simian Substitute Site, it picked up a new lease of life. Quizno's, the sub sandwich people, decided that screeching deformed monkeys would be just the right people to front their latest commercials. America, it would appear, doesn't know what on earth to make of them. (Also available as an audio report.)

April 2003 - Frida Kahlo: Self Portrait with Monkey Coloring Page
Inspired by the release of the movie Frida, subsequently reviewed here as part of VidBinge 2003. Kahlo's monkey obsession has been noted on this site before, but now you can choose your own colour palette for her. Might not be advisable to try this over a dial-up line, though.

May 2003 - Monkey Curling
All computer games work better with the addition of monkeys: and all other sports too, to judge from this. No monkeys appear to be mistreated as part of the game, so I suppose that's all right, then.

June 2003 - MetroMonkey Products
Oh, I'm really not sure about this one at all. Anything that persuades people to keep monkeys as domestic pets is probably a bad thing: but if you were going to, then some of the products on sale here would probably make their lives of slavery a little more comfortable. But you certainly wouldn't catch me in one of those nappies.

July 2003 - Sport Monkeys: The Extreme Sock Jocks
I have no idea who these creatures are, but I assume that young people strung out on Sunny D will find them entertaining. I could be wrong, though.

August 2003 - The House Of The Orange Monkey
Mr Monkey is a popular name on the web, for some reason. For me, the one true Mr Monkey will be the one based out of Chicago via the Citizen Lunchbox media empire: but this one, originally from China and now resident in the UK, comes a close second. Check out his holiday photos: he's a well-travelled monkey, and no mistake.

September 2003 - Fila Delfia Coconuts (Costa Rican Monkey Soccer League)
All computer games and sports work better with the addition of yadda yadda yadda. Up until now, nobody's spotted the PG-level language in what I'd promised people was a family-friendly site. Can you find it, kids?

October 2003 - The Patchwork Monkey
The official site of a short scary movie for children. Unfortunately, I haven't seen it myself: it played at the Raindance Festival 2003 in London, which clashed awkwardly with the London Film Festival. Find out if it's going to be showing at a film festival near you, and watch the trailer (15.8mb Quicktime file).

November 2003 - Monkey Maddness
All manner of monkey-related facts, figures and silliness. Includes a handy state-by-state list of American laws that directly affect monkeys.

December 2003 - Barcelona Zoo: Snowflake's Group
Snowflake was a superstar gorilla, no question: the number one attraction at Barcelona Zoo, he even made it onto the front cover of a Basement Jaxx album. His death in November 2003 resulted in headlines all over the world. We'll miss you, big guy.