Welcome To The Abandoned Lair Of

HIDDEN AGENDAS. What, you think I'm going to keep updating this bit? Get real.

We've Moved. The New Stuff Is Here Now.

Last updated 14/07/2006 (Letters, Archive [Letters], Archive [Simian])


Between July 1998 and July 2006, The Unpleasant Lair Of Spank The Monkey was an arts and entertainment review site which covered material suggested for a mature audience. Since July 2006, all new business is being conducted at http://www.spank-the-monkey.co.uk, and an explanation of the thinking behind the move can be found here. The eight years worth of existing content will remain here as, possibly, some sort of warning.

Portions of this site contain language, images, sounds and ideas that may be unsuitable for the young and sensitive. If you fall into either or both of those categories, find out what nicer monkey activity is available on the Internet courtesy of 94 or so former Simian Substitute Sites Of The Month.

Otherwise, welcome. I'm your australopithecine host Spank The Monkey, and here are the last four things I looked at when I was regularly updating this site:

1.54 Tonnes of CO2 emitted, 11.55 offset donation





British Animation Awards 2006 Music videos, narrative shorts, abstract shorts, commercials - there's no way an informed audience could compare all of these and decide which is the best piece of animation produced in the UK over the last twelve months. So they're letting the public choose instead. Updated 01/03/2006 The Line Between Stupid And Fun As is now traditional at this time of year(ish), I've picked my favourite 17 songs of 2005, put them together on a compilation CD, and given it to half a dozen of my closest friends as a disgustingly cheap Christmas present. You've missed the competition to win your own copy, but you can see the results here. Updated 01/02/2006 Christmas Eve, Babe, In The Drunk Tank Dateline: New York, Christmas 2005. Last time I wrote to you from the Big Apple, I wasn't enjoying it very much. In its defence, I was on my own, the weather was lousy, and it wasn't Christmas. Change all those things, and it could be a different story. Updated 15/02/2006 VidBinge 2005 Last year's VidBinge report came some six weeks after the event itself. This year, I've pulled my finger out and managed to get it up on the web just four days after it happened. Hey, maybe now I've lost my job, at least the updates on here will be more regular. Updated 21/12/2005


You think this stuff's bad? You should see what used to be here. Latest addition: Letters, Year Eight (November 2005 - February 2006). Updated 14/07/2006


"I amb a nice pretty girl. Don't reply to this ebmail." (Jimmie, 10/06) Updated 14/07/2006

And Coming Soon...

...er, nothing. Not here, anyway. Like I said, you really should go here for new stuff now.

Spankers served since Bastille Day 1998 Our hosts Listen to Spank's Audio Lair, courtesy of Live 365 Look at the pretty pictures on The Unpleasant Moblog Mail me
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All original content (c) Spank The Monkey 1998-2006. All other copyright material is used here without permission for review purposes only. Any attempt to sue me for its use will result in pictures of you having sex with a dog being circulated across the Internet. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Murdoch. Don't push me.